Response to 33 Ways Your Boyfriend Is Micro-Cheating (And Totally Getting Away With It)

1. Reaching out to a girl who’s “just a friend” for a recommendation or advice on an issue he could easily Google the answer to because he feels like bantering.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this, and unless he’s making sexual or romantic passes at her, its not cheating. I guess you could see it as cheating, if you’re that insecure though…

2. Giving a waitress or a bartender an obscenely large tip just because she’s hot AF.

OR realistically, he was giving her a great tip because her service was on point – there is such a thing as good service-staff and some people DO realize that.

3. Following a ton of hot girls on social media and beginning to feel like he actually knows them because he monitors their every post that closely.

I’m sorry to say this, but I think that’s more of a case that he’s a stalker than anything. Still there’s something to be said, if you’re following all of these hot guys on social media, so closely that you know them… And then you talk about them like you DO know them. (To your boyfriend that is…)

4. Sending someone who’s not his girlfriend something blatantly provocative, like an article about sex or the porn industry, because he thinks she’ll find it interesting or whatever.

Now it all depends on context for this one. So I don’t have too much to go off here, and I swear to god, if that blue hyperlink points to another HuffPo post, I’m going to eat a fucking Tide Pod and broadcast it on Facebook Live.

5. Logging a girl in his contacts folder under a code name to avoid detection when she call, texts, and emails.

Well, no, this isn’t “micro-cheating” this could be full-on cheating… Or a case where the girl uses her preferred name instead of her birth name. For instance, my friend Amanda, she prefers to be called Logan. According to this bullet point, that’s “microcheating” to text her. However this point does assume that there’s some dishonesty afoot.

6. Tagging another girl in an Instagram that reminds him of her or references a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them

So it’s “micro-cheating” if I tag an ex girlfriend in a System of A Down song that I thought was the backdrop to my time knowing her/dating her?

7. Obsessively checking another girl’s social media feeds and getting way more excited about the non-girlfriend’s posts than he does about his significant other’s.

Sorry to burst your bubble here, but that’s stalking… Or even full-on cheating…

8. Confiding in or venting to someone other than his girlfriend when he’s feeling especially emotional because he craves the response he thinks he can only get from that other girl.

Or it’s because his girlfriend is the reason he’s feeling some kind of way, and wants another female’s opinion on what to do or how to handle it – nothing more than some talk and thoughts.

9. Going out of his way to tell a woman he met or ran into the night before that she looked amazing or seems to be “doing really well.”

Who even does this?

10. Purposefully neglecting to mention his significant other in conversation with the friends and colleagues he interacts with regularly so that many of them actually think he’s single.

I wouldn’t mention my girlfriend if she was reading this tripe and trying to act upon it. So I can excuse this point.

11. Diminishing his relationship as “not that serious” when in fact he’s cohabiting and maybe even engaged.

This is just a scumbag thing to do though, so I don’t have anything to add…

12. Outright denying that he’s in a relationship to extend the flirtatious exchange he’s enjoying with some random girl on the train or at a bar, even if he has no intention of trying to hook up with her.

Again, this is a scumbag thing to do.  So I don’t have anything to add…

13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment.

Guys are cheating when they day dream now?  Are you that insecure in yourself?  Seriously.  What the shit?

14. When something awesome happens to him and he chooses to share the good news with another woman first.

So if I start dating a chick, but only a month or two in, something personal that I feel like only close friends and family should know – and I tell my mom first, I’m “micro-cheating”?

15. Reaching out to an ex on a day that was once significant to them as a couple, like their anniversary or the day they first had sex.

Who even does that shit?

16. Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who’s not his girlfriend, like hook her up with tickets to a concert or a reservation just because.

If I give my best friend – a transwoman – tickets to see the new Star Wars (because I refuse to see it), that’s “micro-cheating”?

17. Telling another girl that he’s thinking about her on a day that’s not her birthday or a holiday.

Maybe she was in a car accident, and he’s doing the nice thing where he keeps her in his prayers or something?

18. Worse yet, texting her “good morning” just to say good morning.

Oh the travesty!  Again, going back to that friend I mentioned somewhere, if I text her “good morning” for the fuck of it, that’s an issue?

19. Picking up the tab like it’s nbd when he’s out with someone who’s not his girlfriend because he wants to impress her or seem cool.

Or, it’s called having good fucking manners…  Are these FemTards that retarded?

20. Giving another girl a “hope certificate” (i.e. some degree of reassurance that he’ll be on the market soon) by insinuating that things are rocky between him and his girlfriend when they’re definitely not.

Or they definitely are, and she’s a controlling bitch…
21. Meeting up with another woman for dinner or a drink and insisting that it’s work related when asked by his significant other for context (and it’s not).
Or it fucking is, stop making assumptions.  If you assume something, it makes an ass out of you and me.
22. Choosing to do something he knows his significant other would enjoy—like go for a bike ride, eat at a specific restaurant, or see a certain movie—with another woman, even when his girlfriend’s most likely available.
Again, this is just a scumbag fucking move…
23. Sending a photo to an ex that reminds him of a good time past because he feels like reliving that old memory temporarily.
Who even does this shit?
24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship.

God forbid you have friends of the opposite sex, it’s not fucking micro-cheating.

25. Recommending that his girlfriend starts wearing a certain type of clothing because he secretly wants her to look like the girl he’s kind of crushing on.
Again… Scumbag move.

26. Gifting his girlfriend with a bottle of the perfume his crush wears so she’ll smell like his latest fantasy chick.

See point 25.

27. Keeping a piece of clothing that reminds him of an ex even though it’s definitely tattered or completely out of style.

Who does that?

28. Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends because it makes him genuinely happy to talk about her.

Well if I was dating the harpy that wrote this listicle, I don’t blame him one bit.

29. Downplaying a certain woman’s awesomeness whenever she’s mentioned around his significant other as if proactively doing damage control.

What. The.  Fuck.


30.
 Asking for a girl’s contact information under the guise of potentially working together even though he knows there isn’t a chance in hell they’ll be collaborating professionally.

 Or there is, but it’s not in the immediate future, fucking Hell…  This is basic networking, this is how you build a list of contacts…
31. Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily.
So what quantifies or qualifies as “unnecessary” here?

32. Spending all of his time engrossed in conversation with another woman at a party or event even though he brought his girlfriend as his date.

Scumbag move.  Again.

33. Mindfully leaving his wedding ring at home when he heads out with the boys (not so much because he wants to get lucky, but just because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again).

 

Yet, a chick can pull this same exact move and we’re expected to go with it?  Scumbag behavior, is scumbag behavior, no matter how you slice it.

 

Alright, so full disclosure – there was like, what? 4 points on this list that I agreed with, because it’s shitty behavior.

EDIT: That was in fact a HuffPo related link, going to be buying some Tide Pods.

By Jory McDaniel

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